Wednesday, December 28, 2016

RH3 # 937 Fuck a New Year's Resolution Hash

NYD # 3… yep we have been doing this shit for years!!! Oh yeah and Jan 2nd is FF’s Bday!

The Father that has fermented us takes us on yet another hang over killing fat boy journey! Yes you have shit to do, yes you made a resolution. F your resolution, we are hashers! We do what the hell we want we don’t need any stinkin’ resolutions.

Did I mention that Jan 2nd is FF’s Bday!

Looking at this year’s starting location, I think it a good possibility that we WILL NOT be standing on the bank of Blue Marsh with cold wieners again this year. We have invited the game warden though.

If you are a real Hasher than the TRIFECTA is really what you need for New Year’s Day. What is this TRIFECTA you say???

9:15 to Freeze your junk
Polar Plunge @ Blue Marsh Dry Brooks Day Use Area
11:00 to 1:45
Prelube at PJ Wheelahans
2:00 to Drunk
The New Years Day Hash!

The Trifecta of Stoopidness, sure to clear any Hangover!!

The dropping balls….

Hash Date: New Year’s Day if you didn’t catch it yet!
Hares: Father Ferment Me & Just Elizabeth
Prelube: PJ Wheelahans
Jan 2nd: FF’s Bday!
ONON: 2PM 1109 Lilac Ln, West Lawn, PA 19609, USA
Something about please piss in the neighbors mailboxes!
Dry Bag: NO NEED

Hash Cash: $5

Monday, December 12, 2016


BYOG: YES!!! Bring your own shotgun….it’s a Foot Fairy & Just Todd kinda hash!

Daniel Boon Rod & Gun Club will be our playground for Sunday. According to RH3 legend this section of our hill has only ever been Hashed one time ever. This is private property is typically patrolled by 50 drunken hunters with copious amounts of flying bullets and arrows. But for this day….just this ONE DAY it will be our RH3 Playground!!!!  #LEGALLY

One stop shopping……PRELUBE, TRAIL, APRES…..all at the gun club!

Now, back to the bring your own gun part! We will have beer and Trap shooting at the Prelube.  We thought it best to do this before the hash as after could be well, interesting. If you have a shotgun and would like to bring it great, if not we will have one for you to use. If wish to hide in the lodge and get nowhere near the guns, well that will be accommodated also!

“No worries, no rifles...only the "GUN" used for fun will be allowed after the prelube" ”

Want to run some new trail on “OUR” hill…then don’t miss this one. Just Todd is going big on his Virgin Trail with this location. Plus he has “THE HASH Gentleman” at his side. What could go bad!

The range…

Hares: Foot Fairy & Just Todd
Hash Date: Sunday October 18th 2016
ONON: Daniel Boon Rod & Gun Club
301 Dautrich Rd, Reading, PA 19606
Prelube: Daniel Boon Rod & Gun Club 12:30ish!
Dry Bag: Daniel Boon Rod & Gun Club
Hash Cash: $7
!!!!!!!!!!: If the gate is closed when you get there Honk and we will let you in!!

Monday, December 5, 2016

RH3 # 934 - Santa Fucks The Hash!

It’s that time of year again boys and girls…the time of year when Santa cumms to F the Reading Hash. At this point Santa is sick of spreading Happiness and good cheer throughout the land, thus you will now be spreading for HIM!

So you have never been to a Santa before…. well WTF is your problem! Here is how it works

We hash in our Xmas finery! Bimbos , see the above picture for ideas. Santa and his Elf as usual will lay a simple, well-marked trail that is nothing but sensitive to your comfort and delicate nature.

All Hashers are to bring a Gayly wrapped gift for Santa to distribute, yes you will get one in return stop your bitching! Now this gift should be something good, not a regifted hanky from your grandpa, or a used condom. Get creative, be tastefully nasty…a true “Hash Worthy” gift.

If you do ever actually find circle, or the après well then you are in for a true treat!! After we sing and eat and do bad things that only hashers do then it’s TIME, time for the main event!! Flying in from the west, I mean North Pole will be the most disheveled boner wielding Santa you have ever seen! All of the good little Bimbo & Wank Hashers will sit upon the lap o’ groping and receive your gift!  In more ways than one…

A good time will be had by all and we will wrap up the night with the singing of the 12 Days Of Hashmas!!

Really why in the world would you ever miss this Hash!

The yuletide log…..

Hash Date: Saturday Dec 10th @ 2PM
Hares: Dog Breat & NFB(Follow Him)
Hash Cash $20 Includes Hab
The 1st 100 Get a Special Santa Gift!
Don’t be late…Santa waits for no one!
ONON: Goggle Works Parking Lot @ Walnut St & Thorn St Reading PA
40.338497, -75.932676
Prelube:  The Peanut Bar 1ish!
Dry Bag:  it’s Hashmas, dress up bitches!
Trail – A to who the fuck knows with Santa!

Highly Technical Map!

Monday, November 28, 2016

RH3 # 933 Three Chicks, Cheap and Easy!

Who can say no to that title….

Two of the Mismanagement hotties will continue the Hyman busting (can there be any left) with this not to be missed threesome and the ever anticipated deflouring of Just Katie. I understand on top of these three chicks being cheap and easy…they are going to take you places you have never been before!

If all of above was not enough, your hash cash for the day is a whopping $1! Now Wanks you may offer yourself up for $1. But to gets of these High Class Harriets for this cheap is a bargain. Yes please may I have another!

Chestnut street will be pissed….FYI Chestnut is is the Discount store to Franklin!

Sooo Easy!!

Hash Date – Sunday Dec 4th 2016 2PM
Hares – Optopussy, Sinderella, Just Katie
Prelube – Liberty Ale House
1501 Lancaster Ave, Reading Pa
ONON – 453 East Lancaster Ave, Reading PA
Park across the street in the Rite Aid Lot
Hash Cash - $1
Trail – A to $1

Dry Bag - $1

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

RH3 #933 A Doctor, a Lawyer and an Indian Chief Smoke Hash!

A Doctor, a Lawyer and an Indian Chief walk into a Hash Bar………..ok we have all heard this one before right!

Let’s keep this Month of Debauchery alive and kicking!  What better way to work off that Thanksgiving Hangover or the Black Friday Buyer’s Remorse than to get drunk and run around in the woods with 40 of your closest friends! Or the people you only associate with on Hash day ;)

As Hoagie Carmichael said in “Billy-A-Dick”…..ha I have no Idea what he said or who the fuck he is. But anyone who writes a song Called “Billy-A-Dick” is hash appropriate in my book. Flammer or Bad to supply history!

!!”ALL HYMENS MUST BE BROKEN”!! And this week again we keep NO HYMAN NOVEMBER alive with Just Tom being deflowered by his girl toy Legal Easy.

The legality…
Hares – Legal Easy & Just Tom
Hash Date – Nov 26th @2PM
Preube – Mary’s 6 Pack 12:30ish
835 Hiesters Ln, Reading, PA 19605
ONON - Laurel Run Park, 3048 River Road

Dry Bag – I don’t give a fuck, they might!

Monday, November 7, 2016

RH3 # 930 The Bonfire Hash 3D!!

This is our 3rd instalment of the Bonfire Hash and it never disappoints! How could it, shitty trail, home brew, goats, farm toys and a MASSIVE FIRE!! Tidey really does love some drunken pyromaniacs I guess because he keeps inviting us back!

Rest your liver for this one, Pre at 1, ONON 2, Apes / Bonfire at 6 and at some point fall on the ground drunk later in the night! If you have never been to this Hash or the Bonfire…change your schedule!! 

The ginger…
 HASH DATE: Saturday, Nov 12th, 2016 2:00 pm
OnOn: 449 Orchard Rd, Fleetwood
The Bonfire Location
Prelube: Grand Central Taproom (Fleetwood)
Hash Cash: $7
Your Hares: Tidy Bowl, Fudgepacker & Little Man In The Boat!
Trail: A-A or A-B or A-B-A...
Bring a Dry Bag with a change of clothes.
Hash Apres will flow into the Bonfire

If you plan on staying for the Bonfire (6:00 pm start), please bring a covered dish or snack to share. Bonfire will also feature some of the TYPE A Beer makers from the Pagoda Pacers... no guarantee on how good that beer will be

Monday, October 31, 2016

RH3# 929 The "ERECTION" Hash!

The Poll is OPEN!!

CUMM one CUMM ALL!! Time to get well lubed before we need to visit the POLL and choose our next president! There is nothing more AMERICAN than running around in the wilderness while getting drunk.

 !!Proud to be an AMERICAN where Hashers can run free!!

The one thing we do love about AC/DC, and there are not many but the fucker does usually lay a fantastic trail. So let’s keep this month of debauchery any 40 plus Hashers a week rolling. Looking at the starting location of this on there should be some serious TRAIL!!

This message has been approved by FOOT FAIRY and the drinking Bitches of America!

The Little Brown Ring…..

Hash Date: November 6th 2106 @ 2PM
ONON: 1216 Haycreek Rd Birdsboro PA 19508
Prelube: Island Pizza @ NOON!


Highly Technical Map......On It's Way!

Monday, October 24, 2016

RH3 # 928 The Hallow Weenie Hash!'s time to get our costume on bitches!  Cums On Demand and Just Isac (AKA Mr Bluster) are throwing another Epic Hash! if you haven't been to Hallow Weeny yet it’s one of our yearly staples that is not be be missed! Last year we crashed a wedding in costume. YUP….

It's easy Bimbos dress as slutty as possible, Wanks the same sexy goes for you….and we will run around getting drunk in public. Wanks you may want to ask someone honest if you really look sexy. If not a costume that is more like footy pajamas may be best for you.

As you know we at RH3 are somewhat anal and fairly racist! The hares have something in store for us and circle will not be at the spot that we are parking. If you plan on being late you may miss us….just sayin! So get your ass there on time cuz the Hash waits for no one.

These hares are aiming to PLEASE YOU, your cumfort is their primary concern.

The Frank N Beans…..
Hash Date: Sunday Oct 29th @ 2PM
Hares: Mr Bluster and Cums On Demand! PS her costume is always sexy :)
ONON: No Clue…. But parking is at Berks Lanes!
(3190 Shillington Rd, Sinking Spring, PA 19608)
Prelube: Americana Bar & Grill High Noon!
!!In the lanes same lot!!
Close enough to help you not be late
Hash Cash: $7
Trail: A to ??
Dry Bags: Boo Cares!

Highley Technical Map To Cuuummm!

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

RH3 # 927 Crackllversary Live!

Our beer bringing bugle boy is back at it! Crack will be laying down some live action this Sunday in an OHHH so familiar place. This trail is in honor of his 1st trail a year ago where Fuckin Deadwood made our little Crack a man!(he only required one stitch)

Make sure you bring ID, as we are staring at the Asylum of Wernersville. Uhm…they may want to keep most of your asses. Just Sayin! Yes, yes I know we were just in Wernersville last night; this promises not to be 5 mile death march straight up the Highway. Crack promises NO ROADS, GREAT LIVE TRAIL, THE FINEST BEER, NAKED BIMBOS, and a top notch spread of food!

The girth……
Hash Date: Sunday October 23rd, 2016@ 2PM
Hares: Crack & a possible Co!
Prelube: Noon @ Paradise By The Slice
63 E Penn Ave, Wernersville, PA 19565
ONON: Wernersville State Asylum
Lot A 324 Sportsman Rd, Wernersville (DRY)
1st Lot on your left on Sportsman from 422
“No Swill In This Lot Please”
Trail: Live A to B

Dry Bag: No smell all day!

See you Wanktards Sunday! FF

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

RH3 # 926 Bitch, Bitch.....Fuck You!

Father forgive us, for we know exactly what we do! Such language…...really(Pinky Out)!

I am letting this one speak for itself, no need to blabble on. With a title like this...i am sure the whole kennel and every out of towner we know will drop by!

Date: Monday 10/17 @ 6:15
Hares:Frank Burns Father FermentMe and Just Elizabeth
Prelube: Tavern on Penn Opens at 4PM.
(2601 Penn Ave, West Lawn, PA 19609)
On On: Penn Ave. and Rt 724
(the Old Food Lion lot)
Hash cash: $7
Trail: 'A to Fuck You'
Dry Bags highly encouraged.

Bring a light...or be stupid and get lost....or both! Oh yeah did I mention that Father & Frank Brew Beer together!!  

See you Monday FF

Highley Tecnical map to CUMMMMM

Monday, October 3, 2016

RH3 #925 The Half Way There "Short Straw Hash"

Woooooooah Livin' On  A Prayer.....It's time to Christen the Club House South Bitches!!

So What is the Short Straw Hash??
let's start with the basics
When: OCT 10, 2016
Hash Cash $5
(The rest wil be subsidized by Toe Fu's profit from #924)
Hares go off @ 6:10 SHARP so get there by 6:00pm

1501 Lancaster Ave, Reading, PA 19607

First we meet up @ Liberty Ale House
The Short straw is the 1st hare of the night
They choose a partner to help them lay trail
We give them flour, chalk, a map and money
they take us to another bar (clearly marked on the map)
The Hares head out and start laying trail
They get a 10 min head start... Head? Who Said Head?
The hash tries to catch the hares before they get to the next bar
We get to the bar, we drink at the bar, we Draw Straws and
repeat as necessary.
Eventually we get back to Liberty for the Apres

It's dark out early...bring cranium illumination of you wish! 


Thursday, September 22, 2016

RH3# 924 "From Hare To Eternity"

Following our Analversary we have Hash #924 “From Hare To Eternity”! This witty entitlement is brought to you by Toe FU & Sucks It In!  

Any time Toe Fu hares a trail three things are for sure. For 1..there is 100% chance mother nature will F&#K him. Two...we will get 300 anal instructions on where to park, circle, stand, drink, how to act and who not make to mad. And 3...There is a very good possibly that literally no trail will be found anywhere!

He sent me a picture to use from the 1950’s movie he twisted the title from, but it just was not a FF picture so I picked my own! (Sorry FU) you post plenty anyway! This movie does have many hash like qualities…..disobeying the rules, a bugler, semen, singing, asians, explosions….. you get the point!

The Anal Bits…
HASH DATE: 10/1/2016 2PEEE m
HARES: Sucks It In & Toe FU
HOST TOWN: Hamburg, the home of the King Frost, Hemburgerrfest, Toe Fu, Jack Rowe and and big Rocks and Dam’s to get drunk and fling yourself off of.
PRELUBE: Jake’s Place, this place has more rules then the Neuengamme Concentration Camp.
(3557 Old U.S. 22, Hamburg PA 19526)
PARKING: Across the street at the School Lot. Apparently Jake had enough of us at Get you Tip out of my Clam!
ONON: 2PM Behind Jake' 50 paces, as to not disturb the “real” patrons.
(3557 Old U.S. 22, Hamburg PA 19526)
DRY BAGS: FU is blabbeling about some Blue Marsh Creek and the Schuylkill so yes!

Oh yeah, and according to Toe FU rule # 300 Jake would also like us not to have an alcohol in public near his establishment haha!

See you in Hamburg Bitches this should be a good one!! ONON FF


Monday, September 12, 2016

RH3#923 The Happy Birthday / Analversary Day Hash!

Happy Birthday F&^k US! Yes it’s that time of year again, the time when we go back to where it all began 32 years ago. The one day of the year that Wyomissing cringes as the RH3 debaucherist’s get all up in um’! This hash is a stroll down Mamory lane, and may be the one time of year our Founding Father graces us with his presence! If you don’t know who the founding father of the Reading Hash is I suggest you find out beforehand. Failing the pre circle RH3 History quiz is no small offence. Newbies you better study up! Sexual favors for history lessons are available, or showing up in your birthday suite excuses you from questioning!

The waxy stuff….
Tour guide: NFB & Dances With Whores
Date: Thursday 9:22 @ 6:15
ONON: Reading Boulevard & Plymouth Place, Wyomissing, PA 19610, USA
(Hint this is where the 1st RH3 trail started)
HASH CASH: $1 Apres is On You!
(OOP that’s some old school shit right there!)
PRELUBE: West Reading Tavern
Trails: A to A
Dry Bag: Always a good idea!

Let get our Birthday ON Bitches!

Monday, September 5, 2016


Right on the heels of Hookup, we calm things down a little with the return of the Family Hash and Picnic!

“The Family Hash Bash” was a Tradition of RH3 in the days of Ol’ but somewhere along the way it got lost. Well this is one tradition we would like to see come back, so we scheduled it!

What exactly is a Family Hash? It’s about just what it sounds like…YES there will be a trail! Basic for the most part with some Eagle splits for the “Bigger” kids, but kid friendly for sure. Some “Basic” introductions and instructions will be given pre hash. We will circle up for some creative entertainment post Hash.  And finish up by enjoying a picnic with our RH3 hash Family!

HARES – Mismanagement
ONON - Egelman's Park
(2001 Hill Rd, Reading, PA 19602)
DATE – Sunday September 11th
TIME – 1PM arrival, Trail 1:30PM
ONON – Egelman’s Park
HASH CASH - $5 per Adult all kids under 21 are free.

What is covered in your Hash Cash? Pre Beverages, Kid and Adult trail beverages, grilled Burgers and Dogs, More Kids Beverages, Orange protein and such. Please feel free to bring something to share at the Picnic in the form of a covered dish, adult beverages, snacks, deserts or just your company.

What if you don’t have a family or Kids……I do have one family and about 6 or 7 kids to rent out. They are not the greatest but not very expensive for a day rental. They do need to be returned by 6pm. Seriously though, this is not only for Family’s or Kids it’s for the whole Kennel.

Any questions hit us up…..i am sure I missed something. Let’s Picnic Bitches! FF

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

RH3#921 LVH3#260 –The RH3 / LVH3 Hookup / Interfuck / JointHash!

DID YOU SAY JOINTHASH??.….yes, yes we did! Four bad ass motherfuckers got together one day and said; why the fuck did the RH3 / LVH3 INTERFUCK die?? Well who the hell knows, but what I can tell you is….it’s back. And if you miss this hookup, remove Wank for your Vocabulary!!

A HOOKUP – Sexual activity, though typically not coitus. Usually implies more than kissing or “Making Out”. Making out + Touching Breasts would qualify as a HOOKUP!  N.(English, Websters)  

How do 4 halfminds even come up with a plan to relive the days of Ol’?? Well it’s not easy.  As is proclaimed in the Gospel according to Bad Semen, when you put halfminds together we do not become stronger, but increasingly stupider! We are not added together for strength, but multiplied by ignorance. 1 Hasher = ½ Mind…2 Hashers = ¼ Mind….4 of us together supply a whopping 1/16 of a MIND. Thank you for trusting in us to run this event, as if you had a choice!

STUPIDER –Adjective /’st(y)o͞opədr/   The act of becoming more stupid (Hashing?). The word that should be a word but people are too afraid to make it Ligit. You are becoming stupider every second you read this! A.(Slanglish, Brewsters)

Two things tie these ever so closely located kennels together. Well, other than being whiskey puking degenerates and that we live for beer, shiggy, and song! First off, both Kennels have adopted Liberty Taproom as their clubhouse of choice and second, both were pulled from the Anals with versarys of September. This event is our way of dropping our load and staining the books of tradition as a time that RH3 & LVH3 shall cum together and celebrate once a year! The plan being that LVh3 will host this even in the year of the Cock!  

With all that rambling it may take more than 1/16th of a mind to figure out what I am saying.


HASH DATE - The 3rd Day of September in the year of the Monkey!
FREE BUS TO READING FOR LVH3– Taproom On Liberty Departure 11AM
(Space is Limited)(2246 Liberty St, Allentown PA 18104)(Round Trip)
PRELUBE – Liberty Taproom Reading, PA (Opens at 11)
ONON – Liberty Taproom Reading, PA
(237 North Prospect Street Readng PA. 19606)
CIRCLE – 1PM PROMPT– Don’t be late…the Hash waits for no one.
PACK OUT -1:05 PM – Not 1:06 or 1:07 so be on time LVH3!
TRAIL – A to ?? Live ?? Dead?? SHITTY – YES!
DRY BAG – I personally could give a shit less but other may not want to smell you all day.
HASH CASH - $$15 - This will include food and swill post Hash!

Spread the word….shit is about to get real! Foot Fairy

Cock – [KOK] A device for regulating the flow of a liquid. A person of spirit and often of a certain swagger or arrogance. (Noun, English, Merriam)

Thursday, August 18, 2016

RH3# 920 - The Cherry Pie Hash!

Dirty, Rotten, Filthy, Stinkin…

That’s how the song starts; can this group of Misfits live up to this title? Will we be screaming this post trail?? A trail that appears to be the last Monday night trail of the year….WTF it’s only August. Say it aint’ so.

Swingin’ to the left
Swingin’ to the right
If I think about baseball
I’ll swing all night…yea

Let’s get down to it. Our beloved Hot Lips has taken on a rather large task here. Not only is she leading the Hyman wrecking of 3 Virgin Hares (Man Tits, Just Christina & Just Becky) but I also hear there will be 2 trails. They tell us Turkey / Eagle options will be available to accommodate wanks that wish to walk or wanks that wish to run. YES BAD it is LGBTA friendly as well.  

A HINT FROM FF – When you see the “T” or the “E” on trial T=TOUGH & E=EASY……really you can trust me!

Man Tits is Haring the walking trail live, but my guess is if you get anywhere close to catching him he will simply boob check you. This also could possibly be the 1st trail he has actually been on….and since he has never seen a full trail I am sure his marking skills are on point. This Cluster Fuck is not to be missed!!

The Crusty Stuff…
Hares – Hot Lips, Praying Man Tits, Just Christina, Just Becky
ONON – August 22nd @ 6:15 PA Dutch Farmers Market
845 Woodland Rd, Wyomissing, PA 19610, USA
DRY BAG – Always a good idea

Swingin’ in there cause, She wanted me to feed her……So I mixed up the batter, And she licked the BEATER!!

See You Monday FF

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

RH3 # 919 - Tres Amigos!!

This Sunday Excursion is brought to you by, ok ok hold up a second…..I need to get something out of my system. “I’ll fill you so full of lead you’ll be using your dick for a pencil” “El Guapo you have a plethora of piñatas…what the F is plethora” “ You’re a son of a motherless goat” “Together we raped the horses and rode off on the women” ” Daa Bullets”………

Ok sorry…I love this movie. Anyway this Sunday we have a good one on tap. Three of our beloved are teaming up without being strapped down by any justs and dishing it out! I hear of a live haring and by the start location some new territory. Please note there is a bit of a time change on this, we realize this brakes from tradition, just deal with it. If you see any of the old heads throughout the week remind them it’s a 1PM trail this weekend. They are old are have trouble remembering things.

HARES – Vira Wangless, Bones & Crack
ONON – 8/14 Sly Fox Brewing Pottstown “1:00 PM”
331Circle of Progress, Pottstown 19464
PRELUBE – Sly Fox Brewing they open at 11:30
TRAIL – A to B Live
DRY BAG – Recommended

Going to be a fun ass RH3 weekend…..FF