Wednesday, June 7, 2017

RH3 #950 Campout - Thank You Sir May I Have Another!!


Wham Bam Thank You Maam....
We all know that point, right between pain and pleasure. Just a bit more and there's no going back. Foot Fairy's 50th may very well take you beyond. For 49 hashes, he has planned, participated in or presided over every conceivable means of torturing and tantalizing us. Steep rocky hills, smiley faces, double trails.....and those damned ground hogs! Under his diabolical leadership, RH3's ranks have swelled to near bursting. Join us in celebrating the end of one shitty era!
You're aching for details, aren't you?
First and foremost....this is not a hash, it's a weekend extravaganza. Saturday and Sunday, June 10-11 at the tranquil gentleman's farm of TidyBowl and Little Man in the Boat, 449 Orchard Rd., Fleetwood, PA 19522. A number of farm animals will be available on a first come, first serve basis so there's no need to bring a date. PLEASE NOTE -- this is a farm -- PLEASE NO DOGS
Check-in is anytime after 11:00 AM. Collect your two items of Hash Swag ($60 if registered AND PAID by May 15th / $75 after May 15th until day-of, pitch your pup tent (yes, it's a campout and tents aren't provided) and start drinking.
At 2:00, luxurious yellow busses will arrive to whisk you to the On On, where hares No Fucking Brains and Any Crack'll Do have spared no expense in providing you with the ultimate in trail comfort and safety. Yes, Foot has opted to say fuck tradition and not to hare his own 50th, as he wants to be on trial with his fellow halfminds to enjoy the shitty day!
After reveling in the shiggy-infested and ground hog hole-pocked splendor that is Eastern Pennsylvania, you will be returned to Chateau TidyBowl, be it by “foot”, bus....or body bag, where beer will flow and skin will show! Why, you say?
Because we're having a TOGA PARTY!!! A sumptuous, bacchanal feast will be followed by a roaring bonfire and music by Tour de Puke's band, BUBBA. Oh, and beer...lots of it!
The following morning, those capable of standing will be treated to a mimosa/bagel breakfast, followed by a short "fat boy" trail. By then, you'll be spent...so, go home. You aren't as young as you used to be. You'll need a nap. Check-out is no later than 2:00 PM.
Lets sum this shit up....Hash Swag (2 Items), beer, busses, beer, trail, beer, barbecue, beer, togas, beer, bonfire, beer, Bubba, bed, breakfast, trail, beat it...
Now...bend over and grab your ankles, naked ass to the sky and take your punishment till your cheeks glow red. Are you cumming??
ONON…
And in the words of FF....Let’s Fucking Drink Bitches!!




Monday, June 5, 2017

RH3 # 949 THE BOOKENDS HASH!


The Bookends Hash! Why is it the “Bookends Hash”..because the same set O old heads that hared #951 will also be laying train #949. Get it? No? Just show the fuck up...if you have yet to be part of a trail laid by our elders it a glorious thing. Like 8 track tapes and paper topo maps not on Google!!

Note from thr Hares!!!
Flamer, Roadkill and Tidy, inviting all to experience the mysteries and vagaries of Reading Hashing at our Bookends Hash on Monday June 5: On On at Brentwood/Thun Trail parking lot at 6:15 p.m.
We will be celebrating the First and Last hashes of the reign of Grand Master Foot Fairy prior to his 950th.
Vagary- the Word for the day- Will the trail follow the lumbering live hare Roadkill or the fleet-footed Tidy (1st place in age group at the Charliehorse type-A r*n last weekend- he'll be drinking for that!!!)?? Will it go Up or Down, In or Out? Will it suck, or...?
R*n fee $FIDOLLAH$, plus HABERDASHERY for $20 at the après, provided we can find someplace to have it.

Pre-lube at Troopers 5PM (hey, it's practically next door! Your comfort is our primary concern!!)

p.s.:
va·gar·y
ˈvāɡərē/
noun
plural noun: vagaries
an unexpected and inexplicable change in a situation or in someone's behavior."the vagaries of the weather"
Synonyms
:
change, fluctuation, variation, quirk, peculiarity, oddity, eccentricity, unpredictability,caprice, foible, whim, whimsy, fancy
"the vagaries of the weather"

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Click the link above or get more details on our 950 Campout Here!!

RH3 #950 Campout - Thank You Sir May I Have Another!!

RH3# 948 The Liberty To Liberty KEGS & EGGS Hash!!


OK Wanks….you have heard the buzz, you have heard the rumors but o0hh could it really be true!! Yes yes it is, the very last trail Foot Fairy will ever hare as GM is upon you!!

****”THE” LIberty to Liberty Kegs & Eggs Hash!****
THIS TRAIL IS LESS THAN ONE MILE OF ROAD AND LESS THAN 100 YARDS OF RAIL TRAIL…..YEAH YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY BITCHES

What's the deets? Well It’s really fuckin complicated ONON will be Libert West….and the HHH will be ??HAHA?? and the Apres will be at, wait for it……..Liberty West with a beautiful Egg buffet and brewskis on their beautiful deck. I really think it’s outside only because they don't want us inside them!! 

Wait a second, how the Dick are we getting back to our cars. Well Foot has taken care of you, Liberty will be running their shuttle bus back to Liberty West after the fun!! ??What if i want to park at Liberty east, how do i get to the OnON. Work it out you're a big kid now. Carpool info will be posted closer to day of!!

Liberty has shown us plenty of love during this 50, they have even been deemed the RH3 Clubhouse. This event is again them showing their support of RH3!! Ahhh so sweet of them!!

The deets….

Hash Date: Saturday May 27th 2017
HARES: Foot Fairy & And the Online Private Message Suck Up!!
PRELUBE: 9AM Liberty Ale House (Liberty West)
1501 Lancaster Ave, Reading, PA 19607
ONON: Liberty Ale House 9:30 / 9:45 (It’s a Pretzel City Style Start thus the time gap)
HASH CASH: $5
DRY BAG: Your call….there is a RIVER between the Liberty’s

Thursday, May 11, 2017

RH3# 947 - "THE" Reading Red Dress Run!!







Get your finest Red Dress out of the closet....it's that time again RH3!! The RE-RE-REturn of "THE" Reading Red Dress Run is back and looking to top last year's sit show!! Spread the word Hashers...E-mail, text, post, write a letter....fuck chisel a stone tablet and send it out by donkey!!. We just want a SHIT ton of people and your $$$$$$!


!!!!!BRING VIRGINS!!!!!
Yes this is a fundraiser hash, this year again we will be raising $ for the Breast Cancer Support Services of Berks County! If you don't enjoy drinking and running, or running, or drinking??!?? If you are not looking for some weird reason deep down inside to do all of the above in public wearing a Red Dress.....then just show up and do it for the BOOOBIES!!


WHEN: Saturday May 13th
What Time: 2PM
Prelube: 1PM
Where: North End Rod & Gun Club
Address: The DIPS!! 2010 Fairmont Ave, Reading PA 19605
Hash Cash: ($20 Virgins are not free)
Habadashery: Shirts for SALE!!!
Prelube - Apres - Auction: All at same location

Auction?? Again this a fundraiser Hash. Bring your $$$$ and uhmm, some shit to auction off! 

WHAT DO I HAVE TO AUCTION OFF?

People will buy absolutely anything and everything. Or wrap something worth nothing and see if someone buys it. Honestly add anything to the auction...Old Hash Stuff, Items collected on trail, Items left behind by fellow Hashers, Services you may be able to “provide”, Personal items, Donations of choice, Services you may be able to provide. You get the point bring a bunch of cash and anything someone may pay for.

Accessorize - Bring your finest matching handbag to this event as we will be asking the general public as we run for donations to our cause. Yes yes..stopping and asking civilians for cash wearing a Red Dress is always fun. Caution though...this is still a hash so civilian etiquette may be required.

Monday, May 8, 2017

RH3# 946 For Your Pleasure!! (Hare Today)





Our Bi-Hashual Friend from Harrisburg / Hockessin / RH3.....Hare Today has decided to Hare his first tral in our fine town. No not today, next week...




What do we know??? He is bringing a very special Co-Hare...to remaing namless till CUMM time. Everone likes some strange right??



We know we will ONON the Lift Equipemnt side of the Van Reed.....hmmm can you take a guess where the prelube is? Yup the Van Reed. I woulnder what he may pick as a Apres spot??



In the words of our fine "Hare" Cum on Monday Eve and feel the good vibes!!!"



Hash Cash $7
Prelube & ONON : Van Reed in 183
ONON Time: 6:15 Sharp!!
Dry Bag: I dont give a shit...


Wednesday, April 26, 2017

RH3 #945 Benjamin C-Note






Diggit: Foot Fairy been incarcerated with you wankers for 44 trails. Fudgie did his time too. Now it's PAYBACK! This is gonna be the best of the worst. Anything that made you mutter "that M..F..er" under your breath the first time round...back atcha! These G's have over 100 trails under them combined in reign.....wear a fuckin bullet proof vest!!

HARES: FOOT FAIRY & FUDGEPACKER!!
HASH DATE: APRIL 30th 2016


On On: Trout Run in Exeter, 4/30, 2:00

(Little Lot By the Bridge)
Hash Cash: a C-note, dumbass! OK, $5

Prelube: Liberty Taproom

Dry bag: You can see the Schuylkill River from the On On...what do you think?

These 2 bruthas got a lot of pent up rage to work out. Someone's gonna get shanked...

Highlt Technical Map to CUMMMMM

Sunday, April 23, 2017

RH3# 944 - 1st Monday Trail of 2017




1st Monday of the year!! Everybody loves a Monday hash….why you ask! Because Monday Evening is where this great tradition of ours began in 1938. Who the fuck are we to mess with 79 years of tradition right. So at RH3 we hash on Mondays April / October to rid ourselves of the excess of the weekend! That is how it has been since RH3 was founded and so it shall be FOREVER!!

So what do we know about this ever so great event “The 1st Monday Trail of 2017” ?????…….ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! 


Hash Date: Monday April 24th 2016 @ 6PM
Hare: ?????
ONON: Egelmans Park 6pm
Prelube: Liberty Taproom 5PM
Hahs Cash: $2
Dry Bag: Possibly

Sunday, April 2, 2017

RH# # 943 " HAIRY PALMS "




In an attempt to find a lost beer check from trial #837….our Moose Knuckle wielding Band Lord will be taking you back in time to a trail of Ole’

Dances lost a beer check once on a live trail, the pack revolted and the legend was set. After this he whacked his “Instrument” for years till…..well you know the title. Over the years he has added Bday’s, Rehab’s, Part time GM’s and the such. But one thing that stands strong is DANCES WITH WHORES hares every April, and while the trail is always suspect…. it’s always in style!!!

The Palm of It….

Hash Date: Saturday 4/9 2017 @2PM
Hares: DANCES WITH WHORES, and hopefully someone who knows what the fuck they are doing!
Prelube: Palos Pizza (2480 Lancaster Pike, Reading, PA 19607)
ONON: 1020 Grings Hill Rd.19608 @ 2pm
Hash Cash: $6

Dry Bag: Yes and a Flea & Tick Collar...

RH3# 942 IN THE HOLE




OK….so we all survived the Beaver!! Some in better shape than others….but a great time was had by all. Happy Bday Moon!!

It’s time to get back it “In The Hole” RH3, this may be the longest running section of non recurring Hares i can remember. My half mind is fleeting though and and I am sure some old timer will give us the “Well back in so & so and at this time we” yeah i get it! But it’s has been a good stretch of new hares and some change of the regular…

This week one of the most giggled names and one of hottest Gingers are taking us for a tour. Where we have been creative at getting you some ever changing hares, it’s appears these half minds are kinda locationally challenged. We have had 4 trails in the last couple all start within the same mile. Well….ANAL LEAKAGE and Ginger Snatch (Aka Little Red Labia Hood) a joke from a bit O’go!!) are taking us yet another voyage "DOWN THE HOLE" in the sinking spring area. I hope Alice let's us in her wounderland! The last time ANAL LEAKAGE ran us from this area it’s was 9 miles of road, the beer was confiscated by the police and Wants Bad, spent all day apologizing!! Let’s see what these wanks have in store for us this time!!

The taint (Between holes)

Hash Date: April 2nd 2017 2PM
Hares: AnaL Leakage
Prelube: The Railroad House
(152 Woodrow Ave, Sinking Spring, PA 19608)
ONON: 830 Mt Home Road 19606
(The Storage Place)
Hash Cash: $7.50
Dry Bag: Who Cares…..

See you Wanks on Sunday, Let’s drink bitches!! FF

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

RH3 # 942 " THE GREEN THANG"



“THE GREEN THANG”...what is a green thang? No clue but what i do know is we get to dress up in GREEN and run around with all our favorite people!!

What is going to be so great about this trail??? A - Fudgie & InUendO are haring this trail and they fuckin rock! 2 -We get to Dress up in green, any time we get to dress up it’s a blast. 4 - This is a sweet area to Hash, we had one here last 50 and it was Epic! B- There should still be about a foot of snow on the ground…..That's the shit right there!!

SO, grab your sexiest green attire, your snowshoes, a virgin, some lube and let’s tear this Green THANG up. You know, a certain hasher got named once for something dumb they wore to a St Patty’s day hash...who is that you ask??

Don't forget we kick this weekend off with the The 120TH Hannahoe's Grave Vigil a long time right of passage for serious RH3 hasher…..Friday, midnight on Goat Hill! 

The “THANG”...

Hares: Fudegpacker & InUendO
Hash Date: Sunday March 19th 2:PM Year of the Cock!
Prelube: Blind Hartman's Tavern
2910 Pricetown Rd, Temple, PA 19560
ONON: Valley Lane, Laureldale PA 19605
(Right off Elizabeth Parking near the Baseball Field)
Hash Cash: $7
Dry Bags: I could care less...





Monday, February 20, 2017

RH3 # 941 The Rain, Sleet, Snow Hash!


Enjoy your two week off Bitches!! Do some traveling, enjoy some of our neighboring kennels! When we Cumm back from break things get nutz again, pretty much 8 straight weeks of Hashing. One weekend off between this hash and Red dress….and that’s Easter.

“As any of you that have ever done a ToeFU hash know....the weather will suck! The National Weather Service is tracking several fronts, all of which will converge over Monocacy Hill, March 12. Heavy winds, snow, freezing rain and life threatening conditions are expected. Flour will wash away and trail will be nonexistent. Are you in??”


The grammer.....

Hash Date: Suday March 12th 2PM (Don’t forget to change your clocks)
Hares: ToeFU, Just Randy and Delicious Head
On On: Monocacy Hill lot 57 Geiger Rd. Douglassville Pa 19518
(Carpooling from prelube HIGHLY recommended)
Prelube: Island Pizza 3060 Limekiln Rd Birdsboro PA 19508
Hash cash: $5


Dress accordingly...

Monday, February 13, 2017

RH3# 941 ANGRY WHOREs


ACDC THE ANGRY WHORE….why is ACDC so angry you ask, well because he tries so very hard to be a WHORE but no will take him up on it. Really he will take anyone, anytime, anywhere. Unfortunately he gets no takers, even his hand rejects him. Now that Backpage is shut down he is seriously SOL and really really ANGRY.  As you can see by the picture DEADLY SPERM BUILD UP is real!!

As typical with his quests, he is once again trying to WHORE it up by asking two RH3 bimbos to join him in the woods. I Want A Fucking Refund (who is already asking for one) and Just Missy will be his Co Hares. This is like trail 17 this month with Virginal Hares getting their Hyman taken.  Not quite sure ACDC is capable of this task…maybe a couple Wanks would have been an easier conquest for him. Please have a heart and give this guy some action before he moves to Laos to be inseminated by elephants!

!!!ATTENTION!!! – This is some new territory for RH3 as of late. Yeah I am sure some old head has a story of how 3 hashers ran a trail on this hill before we were born, blah blah!! If it wasn’t on facebook it didn’t happen!  !!VIRGIN HARES, VIRGIN TRAIL, AN ANGRY unwanted WHORE!! What could be better….

Fuckin Bethel WTF…….

Hares: ACDC, I Want A Fuckin Refund, & Just Missy
Hash Date: February 19th 2PM
ONON: 2PM 40.525415,-76.216770
(7183 PA-183, Bethel, PA 19507)
Prelube: Haags Hotel 5661 Old U.S. 22, Shartlesville, PA 19554
(We drank here after “Bloody Sharts in The Gaylands”!)
Hash Cash: $7

Dry Bag: We are out in the middle of fucking nowhere, I would say yes!

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

RH3# 940 LOVE IS A BITCH!....and two bearded men


1st order of business….I met 3 different people at Liberty this weekend during our many RH3 appearances, these people follow our Kennel weekly via the interweb but have not attended a trail yet. I guess it’s easy to pick us out in a crowd. Possibly you are waiting for a personal invitation, well
“THIS IS IT” now show up!!


I am not sure what this trail name is all about, but I see crazy triangle of confusion with nice asses and facial hair. Oddly enough if you google “Two men with Beards” you get a whole slew of pictures with young hipster men sporting crack-like beards making out with each other. Maybe Just Tamra is bitching because she is trying to get in on the action??

One thing I can tell you is while this trail is 2/3’s Virginal Haring…..it’s 100% racist! Yes Crack is at it again, trashing some more Hare Hyman with his pimp hand strong!  He is giving Iceberg Slim a run for his money in breaking new tricks to the game! But seriously these 3 hares like their trail, and they are running it LIVE. I am sure there is one rear you would not mind running all up in with this crew!

The glutes…

Hash Date: Sunday February 12 in the Year of the Cock!
Hares: Any Crack’ll Do, Just Tamra & Just Chris
ONON: 2PM Fritztown Rd & Chapel Hill Rd Reading PA 19608
For you Fancy Fucks: 40.304795, -76.049240
Parking: Turn onto Chapel Hill off Fritztown and you will see parking along the road
(If we get some snow before this event expect a parking change!) HTM to CUMM…
Prelube: Railroad House
(152 Woodrow Ave, Sinking Spring 19608)
Hash Cash: $6


Tuesday, January 10, 2017

RH3# 939 The 3rd Anl' Groundhogs Day!!




It’ll be déjà vu all over again…

“Ok Campers, rise and shine and don’t forget your booties cuz it’s cold out there today”

As is with Groundhogs day, this Hash just seems to keep coming back. Groundhogs Day is the Spawn of Foot Fairy & Horn O Plenty, conceived on an icy day in the Mt Penn hills at Trail # 838, brought to life at #866, and since they NEVER see their fucking shadow back at #899 and now #939. Maybe you will get lucky and they WILL see their shadow this year!

“I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate Lobster, drank Pina Coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day why couldn’t I get that day OVER & OVER again!

Be prepared to be Multiply Orgasmic as these two veteran hares screw you repeatedly…..YOUR CUMMFORT IS THEIR PRIMARY CONCERN!

There will also be GHD Habadashery for sale as usual, so bring your gold card. This Bucktooth rodent has been seriously messing with our kennel for years, so come out and let’s run this little fucker down

Hash Date: Jan 29th 2017
Hares: Foot Fairy & Horn O Plenty
ONON: Pendora Park
19th St & Forrest St Reading PA 19606
   40.329218, -75.900277
Prelube: Liberty Tap Room 11AM J
Hash Cash: $5
Habadashery: GHD item for Sale
Dry Bag: Multiple

Trail: A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A



GHD
Shirts
$15
DAY OF!!

Monday, January 2, 2017

RH3 # 938 The Swampsicle Hash!



For our second installment of 2017 we have Swampy  & Just Jess…..really Just Jess??  Yes the Racist one…

What do we know about this hash? No fucking clue, why is it a Swampsicle Hash?? Again no fuckin clue. We do know it’s Swamp’s Bday weekend and he has been Hashing the like of REAMStown since we chiseled hash trash on stone tablets!  The last time I Hashed these parts we “almost” got run over by a CRANE on trial , “almost” instigated a bar riot, and 100% got yelled at by a huge women lovingly known as “The Dragon Lady” for setting a beer on her  felt!

What does this adventure hold?? Well guess you need to show up and see!!

In Honor of Swampy’s Bday, this trail will also get a piss up social! Saturday night we will meet at American Sports Bar & Grill for a Hash Social & Karaoke Pissup to help celebrate Swamps Bday!!

So it shall be….

HARES: Swamp Thing & Just Jess
Piss Up Social: Saturday Jan 7th 8:30PM
3190 Shillington Rd, Sinking Spring Pa 19608
HASH DATE: Sunday Jan 8th 2:PM @ Reamstown Park
E Church St, Stevens, PA 17578
PRELUBE: Union Barrel Works!! Opens at 11..
6 N Reamstown Rd, Reamstown, PA 17567
Hash Cash: $8

Dry Bag: Echo echo…

HTM to cumm