Thursday, September 13, 2018

RH3 #1000 The 34DD Campout!!



Sept. 22-23,  11AM sign in
1540 Mountain Ave, Hamburg, PA 19526, United States

What is in a name….well in this one, a whole shit of a bunch! The Reading Hash House Harriers have a long and storied tradition of being incredibly creative with their trail names for milestone events. The 20 Grand Masters (1 For Every 50 Trails in RH3 history) who have inspired the ignorant over the last 30some years, have had such memorable names for big events…#100, #250, #500, #750...I know, these old fucks really worked hard at that shit!


In the “New Era” (Post #850) with the dawn of social media and mass advertising, we are finally cumming into our own! I know you’re asking at some point “Are you going to fucking tell me what “34 DD” means, besides a nice pair of breasts’s???


Ok we are celebrating 3 big fucking events here all wrapped into 1 great weekend…


1: The 50th and final trail in the RAIN of Toe FU..our All-Knowing, Well-Grammared, Weather-Summoning, Dog Collar-Wielding, Kinder & Gentler Grand Master!
2: The 34th Birthday and Analversary of RH3!
3: AND Our 1000th Trail as a Kennel (The math was independently checked... we are dead on!)


I = 1, V = 5, X = 10, L = 50, C = 100, D = 500, M =1000
34 = The Years we have been Hashing
DD = (500+500=1000) Our 1000th Trail as a Kennel
(Why not use an M? There are no M Bra sizes….again, we checked)
I GIVE YOU…….“34DD”!!!


Well…..we like it! By this point you’re ready to find out some goddam info! As the title reads, this is not just a trail, it’s a CAMPOUT!! The Olivet Blue Mountain Camp in Hamburg, PA will be our host and we have the HOLE place to ourselves! There will be a cap on this event at 150 degenerates. The 1st 100 of you get a guaranteed bunk if you so wish, the other 50 will be camping. We have a main cabin and some out cabins. Don’t ask... we’ll stick you wherever we please! Unlike last year’s tent-o-cold water and perky nipples...and a muddy Slip N Slide...we actually have shower facilities for all this year! 


We will update this with a more detailed agenda as we get closer, but here is the down and dirty on what you get for your $80. Check in will be Saturday at 11AM, Collect your Complimentary Hab and Toe Tag. (So when a bear comes down off the Appalachian trail and eats you, we can comb his shit to see who you were) Beer and some hash protein will start to flow at that time as well. Turkey & Eagle trails will be run FROM CAMP somewhere around 2PM. Hamms aflowing still.!! A catered dinner around 6pm, Bonfire Around 7, DJ around 8pm, and a Midnight Naked Trail at 11?? And you know….other shit sprinkled in.


If that was not enough to cover your $80...when you awake from your cozy bunk, covered in who knows what, by who knows who... we will be serving a full cooked breakfast...assuming some of us are sober enough to cook. A Fatboy trail will follow, around 9:30, and then it's Hasta La Vista, Bitches!! Camp must be empty by noon. 


Some extra bit’s….If you’re not one of the 1st 100 to Rego or wish to camp, a normal tent will do. If you’re in the 100, bring a sleeping bag or sheets and a pillow, dumb ass. If you want to bring some type of RV thingy to sleep in, give us a yell. We will do what we can. “What if I can’t make the whole event?” We don't care... pay your Rego and come and go as you please. NO FIREWORKS, NO DOGS…. cuz trees burn and stepping in dogshit sucks. 


PS: Since we are moving our traditional analversary trail for this event, there will be a Bookends Piss Up Hash Friday 9/21, 6:15, from that place where it all began, Reading Blvd. & Plymouth Place, Wyomissing. Crash Space on you..


We are very close with our surrounding hashers & kennels (some closer that we are comfortable with). We look forward to celebrating our Birthday, The end of a Great Reign by ToeFU, our 1000th trail, and all the GMs that got us here, with everyone. Sign the fuck up and Lets drink Bitches!!!


https://hashrego.com/events/readingh3-rh3-1000-34dd-2018

OnOn FF

(Spelling and Grammar, selectively altered by ToeFU)

Monday, September 10, 2018

RH3 #999 The Bookends Hash

This year, our Anniversary Hash is being incorporated into the 34DD Campout, an event recognizing not only the 34th year of our kennel's existence, but our 1000th trail and my 50th and final trail as GM. But being the traditionalists we are...it just didn't seem right not to hash at the place where it all began for RH3. So the hares that graciously laid my first trail agreed to hare a "bookends hash" the night before my reign ends, at that oh so sacred spot...Reading Blvd. and Plymouth Place.

Hares: Sucky Sucker, Choo Choo and Horn of Plenty (SuChoHo)

On On: Fri. 9/21, 6:00, Reading Blvd. & Plymouth Place

Hash Cash: $7

Prelube: Barley Mow

Word has it that our Founding Father may stop by and impart a few words of wisdom.

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

RH3 #998 The Family Hash


Back by popular demand.....The Family Hash!!
Hares: Foot Fairly, Fudgepacker and ToeFU will whisk your little ones away on a whimsical scamper through the woodlands of Mt. Penn.
On On: Egelman Park, 2167ish Hill Rd, 9/9, "Juicebox" Prelube 1:00, Circle 2:00.
Hash Cash: $5/family....plus a covered dish.
As always, songs and such will be age-appropriate. After trail, stick around for burgers, etc. Adult beverages will, of course, be available...

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

RH3 #997 Lucifer On Wheels


Our last BASH (bike hash) was such a rousing success, we decided to have another!! Only this time, our host will be Beelzebub himself...

Demonic servants: Ducky, Partial Erection and Shrinkage
On On: Breneman Park, 2914 Reedy Rd., 8/27, 6:15
Prelube: Tavern on Penn
Hash Cash: $6.66 + your soul  
Mephistopheles commands you to wear a helmet ......





RH3 #996 Jorts for Djibouti


So, where is Djibouti and do they really wear jorts there?? Inquiring minds want to...oh look, they have beer!!
Join hares Optopussy, Hot for Teacher and Inuendo (not a bad ass among em') for this denim inspired romp about West Reading..or thereabouts...
On On: 305 N. Park Rd, Wyomissing (Park in the VF lot waaaay in the back), 8/19, 2:00
Prelube: Barley Mow
Hash Cash: $7
We expect your Jorts (jean shorts) to ALMOST cover your Djibouti. Let's get cheeky, RH3!!!

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

RH3 #995 The Totally Legal Hash


The kennel's legal counsel has decided to treat us all to a trail. 
On On: On the advice of our attorney, I can now confirm it’s the lot behind Big Lots, 5th St Highway (40°23'01.0"N 75°55'30.5"W for you techno nerds), 8/6, 6:15
Prelube: Shirley’s Tequila Bar
Hash Cash: $6

I rest my case...

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

RH3 #994 Float Hash (FLASH)


Hares Crack, Cougar and Breaststroaker have once again cum up with a trail that’ll get you nice and wet.

On On: 321 N. Furnace St. Birdsboro (back lot), 7/22, 11:30

Prelube: Island Pizza, 10:30

Hash Cash: $5 covers Circle beer and apres food. Bring cash for apres beverages.

Also bring a flotation device unless you’re a great swimmer. Hares will transport it to the put in point on the river.