Wednesday, August 24, 2016

RH3#921 LVH3#260 –The RH3 / LVH3 Hookup / Interfuck / JointHash!

DID YOU SAY JOINTHASH??.….yes, yes we did! Four bad ass motherfuckers got together one day and said; why the fuck did the RH3 / LVH3 INTERFUCK die?? Well who the hell knows, but what I can tell you is….it’s back. And if you miss this hookup, remove Wank for your Vocabulary!!

A HOOKUP – Sexual activity, though typically not coitus. Usually implies more than kissing or “Making Out”. Making out + Touching Breasts would qualify as a HOOKUP!  N.(English, Websters)  

How do 4 halfminds even come up with a plan to relive the days of Ol’?? Well it’s not easy.  As is proclaimed in the Gospel according to Bad Semen, when you put halfminds together we do not become stronger, but increasingly stupider! We are not added together for strength, but multiplied by ignorance. 1 Hasher = ½ Mind…2 Hashers = ¼ Mind….4 of us together supply a whopping 1/16 of a MIND. Thank you for trusting in us to run this event, as if you had a choice!

STUPIDER –Adjective /’st(y)o͞opədr/   The act of becoming more stupid (Hashing?). The word that should be a word but people are too afraid to make it Ligit. You are becoming stupider every second you read this! A.(Slanglish, Brewsters)

Two things tie these ever so closely located kennels together. Well, other than being whiskey puking degenerates and that we live for beer, shiggy, and song! First off, both Kennels have adopted Liberty Taproom as their clubhouse of choice and second, both were pulled from the Anals with versarys of September. This event is our way of dropping our load and staining the books of tradition as a time that RH3 & LVH3 shall cum together and celebrate once a year! The plan being that LVh3 will host this even in the year of the Cock!  

With all that rambling it may take more than 1/16th of a mind to figure out what I am saying.


HASH DATE - The 3rd Day of September in the year of the Monkey!
FREE BUS TO READING FOR LVH3– Taproom On Liberty Departure 11AM
(Space is Limited)(2246 Liberty St, Allentown PA 18104)(Round Trip)
PRELUBE – Liberty Taproom Reading, PA (Opens at 11)
ONON – Liberty Taproom Reading, PA
(237 North Prospect Street Readng PA. 19606)
CIRCLE – 1PM PROMPT– Don’t be late…the Hash waits for no one.
PACK OUT -1:05 PM – Not 1:06 or 1:07 so be on time LVH3!
TRAIL – A to ?? Live ?? Dead?? SHITTY – YES!
DRY BAG – I personally could give a shit less but other may not want to smell you all day.
HASH CASH - $$TBD - This will include food and swill post Hash!

Spread the word….shit is about to get real! Foot Fairy

Cock – [KOK] A device for regulating the flow of a liquid. A person of spirit and often of a certain swagger or arrogance. (Noun, English, Merriam)

Thursday, August 18, 2016

RH3# 920 - The Cherry Pie Hash!

Dirty, Rotten, Filthy, Stinkin…

That’s how the song starts; can this group of Misfits live up to this title? Will we be screaming this post trail?? A trail that appears to be the last Monday night trail of the year….WTF it’s only August. Say it aint’ so.

Swingin’ to the left
Swingin’ to the right
If I think about baseball
I’ll swing all night…yea

Let’s get down to it. Our beloved Hot Lips has taken on a rather large task here. Not only is she leading the Hyman wrecking of 3 Virgin Hares (Man Tits, Just Christina & Just Becky) but I also hear there will be 2 trails. They tell us Turkey / Eagle options will be available to accommodate wanks that wish to walk or wanks that wish to run. YES BAD it is LGBTA friendly as well.  

A HINT FROM FF – When you see the “T” or the “E” on trial T=TOUGH & E=EASY……really you can trust me!

Man Tits is Haring the walking trail live, but my guess is if you get anywhere close to catching him he will simply boob check you. This also could possibly be the 1st trail he has actually been on….and since he has never seen a full trail I am sure his marking skills are on point. This Cluster Fuck is not to be missed!!

The Crusty Stuff…
Hares – Hot Lips, Praying Man Tits, Just Christina, Just Becky
ONON – August 22nd @ 6:15 PA Dutch Farmers Market
845 Woodland Rd, Wyomissing, PA 19610, USA
DRY BAG – Always a good idea

Swingin’ in there cause, She wanted me to feed her……So I mixed up the batter, And she licked the BEATER!!

See You Monday FF

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

RH3 # 919 - Tres Amigos!!

This Sunday Excursion is brought to you by, ok ok hold up a second…..I need to get something out of my system. “I’ll fill you so full of lead you’ll be using your dick for a pencil” “El Guapo you have a plethora of piñatas…what the F is plethora” “ You’re a son of a motherless goat” “Together we raped the horses and rode off on the women” ” Daa Bullets”………

Ok sorry…I love this movie. Anyway this Sunday we have a good one on tap. Three of our beloved are teaming up without being strapped down by any justs and dishing it out! I hear of a live haring and by the start location some new territory. Please note there is a bit of a time change on this, we realize this brakes from tradition, just deal with it. If you see any of the old heads throughout the week remind them it’s a 1PM trail this weekend. They are old are have trouble remembering things.

HARES – Vira Wangless, Bones & Crack
ONON – 8/14 Sly Fox Brewing Pottstown “1:00 PM”
331Circle of Progress, Pottstown 19464
PRELUBE – Sly Fox Brewing they open at 11:30
TRAIL – A to B Live
DRY BAG – Recommended

Going to be a fun ass RH3 weekend…..FF

Friday, July 29, 2016

RH3# 916 - Making Reading Dangerous Again

Ok Wanks!! After a small and well deserved intermission we return with some Monday Madness and have Deathwish….Making Reading Dangerous Again!

A big welcome home to Deathwish, it’s about time he cumms back to his home kennel and graces us with some shittyness. Here is some Pontification from him to kick this bitch off….

“I could care less if you bring a dry bag or Poison Ivy block. We are here to bring the pain!! Don’t be a PUSSY all your life and get to this hash. We will show you how we don’t get caught by all you A type bastards”

This will be a live trail and he wants a 12 minute head start…why not an hour!? Either way I guess he is calling yall’ bitches out! I hope he wears a colorful thong!

Monday 8/8 Stonecliff
Hares – Deathwish & Some Just…
Prelube – Mikes Tavern any time after 4pm
135 Exeter St, Reading, PA 19601
OnOn – Stonecliff Park
Lehigh & Monroe St Reading PA 19601
Circle 6:15 – Hares Out 6:25 OnOn 6:37
The Hash Waits for No one!

Hash Cash - $5

See you soon, FF

Highly Technical Map!!

Friday, July 15, 2016

RH3# 917 Neversink Again!? WTF!!

Ahhh…….what better way to come back from the 4th O July  fun than to be on Neversink Mt AGAIN! We actually get to see a good couple of Monday trails in a row. What is better in the summer than a good ol’ Monday night trail??? A bunch in a row!

This trail will be brought you by our very own picture puking Trail Master and his ginger of choice. No it’s not Sascrothch, we already saw him once this month. They claim they are taking us on Neversink AGAIN and we should have the Mt “down” by now. Since FU Hares this hill often,…….I feel a fucking with in our future. Or Not? I hope we get to see the horse farm again and the super nice people that live there, they have up all those lovely Welcome Hasher Signs!

Here is the shit

Hares – Toe FU & Princess Fiona
Trail – Monday July 18th
ONON – 6:15 @ Klapperthal Rd The 1st 6 cars get parking the rest are fucked.
Klapperthal Rd, Reading, PA 19606, USA
Prelube – The RH3 Clubhouse as soon as you can get there.
Liberty Tap Room
Hash Cash: $7
Dry Bag: They say you can decide….like we were going to listen either way.

FYI – With the attendance we have seen of late. Carpool from liberty, park at the cemetary or at the top of the hill in the lot across the street. Klapperthal is not going to hold 50 cars!

Highly Technical Map!

Love ya fuckers…..FF

Thursday, July 7, 2016

RH3 SOCIAL: Flotapoloza...Flotopia….Flotilla….Floatiefest To paint the Rock!

In a continual quest to find reasons to drink together we shall attack the river in numbers to claim a local landmark. We will put in at two locations on the Schuylkill one a bit further up for the A type paddlers and one a bit closer for those that wish to float slow. We will all meet at the rock to paint, eat drink and be hashers!

THIS IS NOT A TRAIL….it’s a social dammit! So spread the word NON Hashers welcome!!

For the A type paddlers – Jim Dietrich Park will be the start location for kayaks and canoes. It is a 9 mile paddle from this start location to the rock. According to a top ranking guide in our kennel a typical paddle is 4 to 5 MPH so this should take you just under 2 hours. For this group we will meet at Brentwood by 11AM!! Don’t be late. We will leave some car back vehicles and head to Jim Dietrich for a noon launch. This puts us to the rock around 2.

For the floaters – RACC will be the starting location for this float. Anything that will get you down the river will work. A $ store inner tube is not recommended. From RACC it is 1.7 miles to the rock. The same profession guide thinks floaters will go about 1 mile per hour. So this section will take you about 1 hour and a 45 mins. This group will meet at Brentwood by 11:30AM!! Group up as needed leave car backs and head to RACC for a 12:15 Launch. This should also put you to the rock by 2PM. FYI: The A types will be hunting you down!!

Obviously there is not enough parking for 40 tubes and kayaks at the rock. The shore on the RIGHT of the rock when coming down stream is shallower and has places to park your stuff. The LEFT of the rock when coming down stream is deeper and much faster moving water. Communicate and work together and it will be all good!

This is 100% a non-supported event. We will float some beer, sandwiches, orange crunchy stuff and paint to the rock. EVERYTHING else is up to you. If you need a floating device let us know and we may be able to help you out. You want a kayak or canoe. Get your own. If you want beer and snacks on your floating device, bring your own. Sunblock….yep on you also. There will be a post below to help coordinate the car pool options and such but again we will need to work together and get the rides worked out.

You are responsible for you own safety and safety equipment if warranted. If you don’t know how to swim…..DONT join us! If you do not want to float or paddle but want to meet us at the rock we can guide you in via a hike and a water crossing! The river is fairly low right now even with the rain last night so it should be walkable. I will walk it one night this week and “test the water” so to say.

ASK questions…..see you soon FF

Monday, June 27, 2016

RH3# 916 - The 30th Running of The Reading 4th O' July Sunrise Hash!


This is the 30th Running of the Reading Hash House Harriers
4th O’ July Sunrise Hash!

What better excuse to come out and celebrate our freedom to hash than this! YES it is a time honored tradition SO you may see a tad bit of “tradition” relived in this year’s event. Hmmm wow….with 30 years of tradition and only half mind drunken recollections of it who the fuck knows what you may see!!

We look forward to seeing so many of the out of town faces we see year after year….this years trail as always is sure to put a twinge in your junk!

If you have never listened to “Living in America” at 5am with a beer in your hand you are barely considered American! If you have never been to a RH3 4th of July than I am not sure you are actually a Hasher! And If you are from RH3 and have never been to the 4th than you better get your ass up at dawn, dress in you finest Red White & Blue and join in what makes us Oh So Exceptionally Shitty here in Reading!. Yes I am calling you out ya’ll know who you are!!

As some ol’ fucks said one - 'It's a Hash - Damn it, so Show Up'!  Never wiser words have been spoken and so eloquent!

The Shit….

Hares – Foot Fairy, Flaming Asshole & Toe FU
ONON – The William Penn Memorial Fire Tower (2500 Skyline Dr Reading Pa 19606)
TIME – 5:39 AM Dawn! That does not mean 5:40 or 5:45 The Hash waits for no one!
PRELUBE - The William Penn Memorial Fire Tower @ 5AM ish
TRAIL - A to B
BEES – Free This Year!
**** This trail is A to B please make sure you get everything in your drybag you may need. No bitching will be tolerated because some bimbo needs a hair dryer or some wanks shorts are full of quagmire and no chicks will get near him! Remember as always, your comfort is our primary concern and safety is like 15th after combing your neighbor’s dog!

God Bless America And Never Trust The Hares!

Spread the word………Let’s drink at Dawn Bitches! FF

Highly Technical Map!